Well, now you've done it.  If you own one Jeep, you will soon discover that others have a way of following you home.  One day you are diligently working on your Jeep, trying to have it roadworthy before the kids appear on the Jerry Springer Show.  (Today's episode:  I sold drugs to support our family because Dad blew everything on Jeep parts)  Next thing you know, you are rolling another bargain Jeep project off a trailer out behind the blackberry bushes at a sympathetic (and unmarried) friend's house.  It was such a good deal, you couldn't pass it up.  Maybe you even got it for free.  All you have to do is wait for a good time to tell your wife.

Oh, stop it, you're killing me.  That's really funny.  There is never a good time to tell her.  Sure, some times are worse than others, but there is no such thing as a good time to tell your wife.

Here are a few examples of bad times, so you can avoid them:

1) When her mother has called to announce an unexpected visit in 15 minutes.  Your wife is furiously running around the house picking up your work socks from last week, and you are sitting on the couch looking through a catalog of Jeep parts.

2) Your wife handcrafted some very fancy candles.  She lovingly put them throughout the house in order to spiff up the old place.  You asked her if Stevie Nicks was coming over to shoot a video.

3) You just added some fairly hilarious commentary at your website about Marriage and Jeeps.  Your wife doesn't particularly see the humor involved.

Those are just the super bad times to tell her.  Everything else is still a bad time.  Several months have gone by, and your formerly sympathetic friend keeps calling.  He has grown tired of having discretionary income and is getting married.  His bride-to-be wants that corner of the yard for a gazebo.  Your options are limited.  You can sell the project at a fire sale price to somebody else, which is how you got it if you think about it.  You can find another sympathetic friend with rural acreage.  (Try striking up conversations at a feed store.  You might think authentic ranch garb would help break the ice, but wearing chaps is a bad idea.  Don't ask.)  Or you can tell your wife.

Now here is a major fault in how men would handle this task.  Men think like men.  Sad, but true.  If a man has unpleasant news, he butters up the recipient first.  If your boss invites you for a cup of coffee, don't go.  He has a new project for you.  If a husband wants to tell his wife about his Jeeps strategically hidden throughout the county, he brings her flowers and takes her out to the movies.  Not only are typical men stupid, but they are delusional.  Do you honestly think driving home from the cinema will suddenly be a good time to casually mention how you've squandered the kids' college fund?  Again?

No, no, no.  You must think like a woman.  And I don't mean asking if your new pants make your butt look fat.  You must take the offensive in the situation and use female tactics.  Pout, Cry, and Deny.  That has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

Pout:  Mope around the house morosely.  Neglect all nonessential elements of hygiene.  (Make sure she can notice a difference)  Give curt, one-word answers to any questions.

Cry:  When she finally asks what is wrong, don't answer at first.  Just cry.  If you can't produce any tears, think about how Michael McDonald ruined the Doobie Brothers.  Unless she is part Borg or you've carried the lack of hygiene thing too far, she will have to hug you as you sob uncontrollably.

Deny:  Between the sobs, tell her you didn't think buying another Jeep would be a problem.  She was thinking you were going to leave her, and will hopefully be relieved.  With a sense of pity, she will overlook your vehicular indiscretion.

After employing this tactic, make sure you have planned a few hours of free time with your wife.  Hidden in her sister's garage is a brand new leather couch, purchased a few months ago.  She has been waiting for the right time to tell you.  The rest of your day will be spent bringing it home and moving the old couch out to your garage.  As much as you'd like to get rid of it, keep the old couch out there.  You'll need a place to sleep after she finds out about the rest of your project Jeeps that you haven't mentioned yet.